Something New

September

Ok - its been over two years since I've posted anything on this blog!
Geez.

Time to start a new, I guess.
The start of a new semester for my college kids.
My first school year in 17 years where I don't have to do anything.
...its quiet.
But I am filling up my time with home projects, photography, new art projects like
painting mermaids with Jane Davenport and Teesha Moore! What a really fun on-line class!
and just me and Jack

So here's to the start of something new!
Cheers!

playing catch up!

I can't believe June is almost over and I am behind again in all my photo challenges!  Where does the time fly to? If it goes to a place with abundant time I want to go there!

Bella's 52 photos project is great!  If you haven't heard about it yet, you should check it out.  I love reading all the interviews and looking at everyones photos and then following their link to read their blogs and websites.  What a great idea Bella!

This week is Week 9, and the challenge was to find a word that described yourself.  I am happy! Despite my inability to manage time, take on way to many projects, never reach the bottom of the mountain of laundry....I am happy.  Blessed beyond words.  I hope my photos reflect my happiness.

Here are the photos from week 5-8 too so that I can be completely caught up and back on schedule... for today :)

Week 5: Water - this is Lake Grapevine that we rode the horses in to cool off while on a trail ride

Week 6: A memory is my angel wing necklace that I wear in memory of my angels: Jess and Justin.  I miss them both so much but know they are with me every day.

Week 7: A heart.  I love finding hearts in nature and these clovers were closed at the end of the day.

Week 8: Outside the Window is intense heat! Yes this summer has been hot! in the 100s already.  The pool is used mostly in the late afternoon after the sun has gone down behind the trees unless the kids are awake before noon!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer so far and finding ways to find happiness in every day.

xoxox

52 photos

My friend Bella, has a new photo challenge that I am so excited about!  It's called 52 Photos Project. Each week we are given a prompt on Sunday, as well as an interview with a photographer so we can get to know different styles and personalities.  It's really a fun challenge. I am a little late starting but here are my entries for the first two weeks.

Week one was nourish.

Week two was color. 

Week three was a little harder: "I found it on the ground". 

I was having trouble finding anything really worth photographing.  Then our puppy gave me something - even though it made me mad, it was hard to stay mad.  My son had planted me new flowers in the flower pots by the back door for Mother's Day.  I loved having my coffee each morning and looking out at the love he had given me.  Then this morning all the flowers were gone, there was dirt all over the ground and a puppy sleeping in the flower pot!

Now Week 4: Ray of Light

The weather has been beautiful the past few days and I snapped this sun flare through the trees in the backyard with my iphone, as I was outside reading.  Trying to enjoy the slowness of today for summer is about to begin!





Celebrating February

I am a southern girl! I love the sun! I enjoy the winter and think snow is beautiful, but this uncharacteristically cloudy, below-freezing week in Dallas has left me shivering to the bone!  Until today...the sun has returned!

Even though we were iced in for the most part, February always begins with a week of celebration! My dear mother turned 70 on the 1st, and my amazing daughter turned 18, on Feb 2nd! Followed by several friends and mentors birthdays including Marisa Haedike and Susannah Conway. Happy Birthdays!

I am just beginning my journey as an artist, but I believe in my creative spirit.  I see opportunities and inspiration all around me.  It is so exciting! And today I celebrate my first post as a guest blogger in Mindy Tsonas' Wish Studio! I know - it's unbelievable! Click here to check it out!  I am giving away an authographed copy of Christine Mason Miller's wonderful book Ordinary Sparkling Moments. So leave a comment on my guest blog at Wish Studio and you have a chance to win!  Thank you!

Celebrate everyday this month with me!  There are small ordinary sparkling moments worth smiling about and saying Thank You! to the universe.  As well as big accomplishments as we grow into ourselves, no matter how old we are.

Have a magical, joyful day!

Number One

Happy New Year!

I'm moving slower than I had planned for this year, but trying to move gently and without expectations for 2011, since 2010 ended on a difficult note and with a feeling of uncertainy. Waking up in the early morning hours from a nightmare that is the same as my reality, continues to leave me dazed and wondering how the hell I got here and how to make it right again.  I have no answer for either.  But it is hard not to have optimistic expectations because... that is who I am.  Yet it drains me to remain in the same place and know that I will be here for a while...purgatory.  So I pray and hope that today is different.

I love today's date 1/1/11. 

It just seems optimistic to me.  I don't know, I guess I think of numbers as even and odds, and streams of data in 0s and 1s with zeros having a negative value (I mean, who wants to be zero) and one being, well you know, we all strive to be number one!  But noone wants to be the only one. And that is what I've been feeling a lot of lately.  Trying not to stay in my "pity party of one" I had a change in my perspective when I found Kristin Noelle on twitter.  We are not alone, but we have to seek out our connection to others, ask for help/support.  You will LOVE her adorable illustrations and insightful words regarding togetherness.

All I can do is lean into love and onto the shoulders of family and friends.  Sometimes, I feel I am leaning so hard, I am almost horizontal!  Is it okay to go through life right now looking up at the sky?  Looking for the silver lining, in awe of the colors of the sunrise and sunset, wishing on stars and finding angels in the clouds?  I guess it is better than lying face down in the mud, with my head in the sand...

So here is to looking UP in 2011 from whereever Iwe are! Remembering that tomorrow isn't just another day, it's a better day.
xoxoxoxo

a new day

I am so thankful to be in Mindy Tsonas' THIS MOMENT ecourse right now.  It is as if she is looking right into my life and holding my hand.  Her gentle guidance is so reassuring and the supportive words of my new class friends; have me aware of who I am and the path ahead of me. Otherwise, I may be all over the place. Seriously.

I thought I had unconditional love for my family and I thought I knew how to forgive until this past week. Holding the intervention for my husband on Sunday was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.  I had to fight the urge to cancel it more than once. He was going to hate me. But we did it out of love and it brought EVERYTHING into THIS MOMENT!
We learned so much about addiction that day, how ONLY LOVE CAN HEAL!  I was hurt, afraid and angry.  I knew I had a choice: react in anger or respond with the true me, in love and compassion. what did he need? What did I need?  It was so powerful. But I was the target of his addiction's anger.  I was sending love out, but it was NOT being returned from him....yet.

It has been a week since I stood up and confronted this beast that has over-taken him and only four days since the intervention. 25 years we have been together and NEVER have we gone more than 24 hours without hearing each other's voice say I love you. It's been 8 days. The not knowing was killing me. Although I know we did the right thing to save him from himself, I prayed for something to hold onto.  A glimpse of the healthy man I missed so much. Out of the blue Tuesday night, he texted each of the kids telling them he loved them and texted me to send things I didn't pack and he would text me later. (i know he isn't suppose to have his phone - he's a very tricky guy, but I am so glad he has it for the kids).  Then last night, after midnight, I received a text from him:  I love you. Good night. 
Love in -- Love out -- and Love from around the world and FINALLY, from him, to lift me up.

A beautiful circle!



change

fall has arrived and with its cooler temperatures were winds of change

Change that I have been gradually been preparing for.  Change that is a stronger, more spiritual, more determined me.  And closer and more open with my amazing children.

My husband's struggles with addiction have surfaced yet again.  I promised this to be the "last stand".  With his most recent lies and manipulation, I feel so betrayed and angry.  But I can NOT act upon this because it has NEVER gotten me what I truely want. Moving gently within LOVE, compassionately for all those involved for all of us are hurting and needing to be understood as well as loved. 

I have received so much support and love from friends, many I have not personally met - only in e-courses! who have provided me the greatest strength, that I can not begin to describe.

I look back over the last year and marvel at how the steps lined up perfectly like a puzzle.

My brother's request to photograph his wedding led me to search for photography e-course and found Susannah Conway's Unravelling, then following her classes and participation in Mindy Tsonas' Wish Studio and Squam Art Workshop, Jess and Michelle's The Declaration of You and Vivienne's You are Your Own Muse.

How each course provided exactly what I needed to make it through this week.

How after attending Squam, I learned to BEGIN with Christine Mason Miller and really knew and believed I could make my creative dreams a reality.  It was within my reach and I could see the steps I needed to follow.

How I Celebrated the acceptance into my first art show with all of you, knowing it is just the first.

How wearing Jen Lee's JUST BE TRUE tshirt empowers me!

How I typed in my declaration of TRUST on Thursday and found myself chanting it over and over to myself on Tuesday night..

"I declare that I can trust that whatever life throws me (fair or unfair), I am truely blessed and already have exactly what I need to survive and thrive."

How learning how to take photos of myself made me stronger, and feel more beautiful; and taking photos of me in THIS MOMENT gave me strength to acknowledge and then let go of the pain.

So this day after Thanksgiving, I am so very thankful for all you! For I am not alone.

My friends who have lifted me up, provided me a foundation to stand, a sisterhood to lean on and a love to share!  

I love you all from the deepest part of who I am. xoxoxo

Facing Giants

In three days, Saturday Nov 6th, I will be walking the DFW Brain Tumor Walk. 
I am walking in memory of my friend Jess, with her family as a team called "Facing Giants".
She was the most beautiful person I have ever known.  She was diagnosed with a tumor three years ago and fought for two years before she died in June of 2009 at the age of 27.  Even though she was very sick, she NEVER stopped living or giving or hoping.  She never wanted to waste a single second she had on this earth.
Every day was a gift.
Every person a friend - a soul she connected to.
Every word she spoke was full of love.
Every word she wrote, when she could no longer speak, was inspiring and insightful.
I ask that you pray for those with brain tumors and their families.  If you can make a donation to help fight brain tumors and inspire hope to those affected, it will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much.
Peace Be With You.

Pre-Holiday Gifts or PHG

I can NOT believe that it is Halloween on Sunday and what that means is The Holidays are here!
I LOVE the holidays, but I can NEVER get everything done that I hope to do. So, this year I am giving myself some daily PHG (pre-holiday gifts) to get me organized, checking off my "to-do list" and in the Holiday spirit.  I'm thinking gifts like: Share Beauty, Health, Be Creative and Expand!

1. Share Beauty
Last week I ordered the most beautiful bracelet from Stacie's Jewelry. She has a nice blog and etsy shop. Check out her unique items.  The packageing is so pretty, I didn't want to throw it away - great gifts for yourself or for a friend.
2. Health
I am currently doing 30day yoga!
3. Expand
I am participating in Declaration of You (really fun!) Creative Coconuts (very supportive) and in November Leah's Art Every Day Month
4. Be Creative
I really need to create everyday but in an organized way so I don't feel overwhelmed.  I met Lynn in the Declaration of You e-course and she inspired me with  5 projects in 5 days so before November is here I will
1. Decorate for Halloween (ha! I know)
2. use the spooky halloween cookie cutters I got last year but forgot to use
3. Find costumes for my dogs and horse
4. make a fun Halloween themed dinner on Sunday!
5. organize my studio and get ready for November

I already feel pampered and inspired. I'll let you know how it turns out!
Have a great weekend!!!
Happy Halloween!!

Imperfect...and proud of it!

Better late than never...and nothing like an imperfect picture to protest perfection! ha!
Just a quick post to participate in Brene` Brown's Perfect Protest.  If you haven't read her book The Gifts of Imperfection - order it now!  you will be glad you did because it really is an insightful book.

Begin!

Today I completed Christine Mason Miller's workshop "Today: Begin".  It was part of Mindy Tsonas' *WishStudio that offers ongoing online workshops.  And the money raised to participate in the workshop was donated to Marianne Elliott's Global Seva Challenge for South Africa AIDS/HIV Projects. 

It was so amazing!!

Christine took the overwhelming idea of a dream (no matter what it is) and broke it down into manageable pieces.

My dream is to create a series of color pencil drawings (4-6) using my dog, Rocky as my inspiration/model.  I made a committment to myself to begin today and I not only created a collage to get myself motivated, but completed the first three steps on my "to do list" - with writing this blog being #4! Yeah!

There is so much excitment in movement. I've had creative dreams, goals and ideas in the past, but that is where they stayed.  They never materialized (idk, I guess I just thought it would magically happen on it's own! ha!) or they just fizzled out as I talked myself out of even starting.  Now, it isn't just a pie in the sky idea anymore. It is something I am actually doing.  And it feels wonderful!!

So you will be seeing more of Rocky and I hope you like him - he's a pretty fun boxer pup!

A Message from NYC

    

I've been in New York City all week with my daughter visiting college campuses.  There were a few she absolutely loved and a couple were marked off the list within minutes!  It has been fun, with lots of walking, shopping, eating, more shopping and me trying to keep up and be cool.  I think I failed at the latter :)

But I did learn something about myself.  I go at the pace of those I am with.  Maybe its because I am a mom and I am not a good juggler/multitasker.  Seriously my phone rings while I'm driving and I miss my exit.  As a stay-home mother of three and wife to a busy businessman, my schedule has always been theirs or managing their schedules.  Outside of that I didn't have alot of time or energy to go towards me.  Until recently, as each child has turned 16 and became more independent.  My time is now my own and I really like the slower pace I've set for me.

But this was my daughter's trip and we were moving with the pulse of The City!  On the last night I did meet up with Louise Gale that I met at Squam Art Workshop. She is so sweet and talented.  I enjoyed our 45 minutes! She told me about her friend Rose's photography that was in an art gallery nearby and suggested we check it out.  So we did and I was inspired!  I WILL FIND an artist group in North Texas! How cool to be featured in a REAL art gallery. I have a goal!

But after a few minutes we were rushing out of the Gallery District, so we could get back over to SAKS on 5th Avenue and still have time to make our 8 o'clock dinner reservations in Times Square.
I almost missed my sign from the universe that Meghan asked everyone to look for.  I walked right past it not once, but twice!  And then only saw it as our taxi was driving away.  I took a quick snap and sort of got it!  I could have gotten out of the cab to get the "perfect picture", but I could hear Brene Brown's  Perfect Protest and the message of her new book The Gifts of Imperfection shouting at me: "It's good enough!"  She is right!  The picture I captured shows where I am right now- still underconstruction, having to look past the scaffolds to read the big, bold rainbow colors covering the entire brick wall: "THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO!"

Thank you New York! I Love you! : )

Forever in a Squam World

Since getting back from Squam Art Workshop on Sept 19th, I have been looking at all the great photos in flickr and thinking about all the beautiful and talented people I met there.  They were all so unique, yet we were all part of the same creative tapestry.  I can't stop thinking about how ONE person's vision (Elizabeth's) became real and over the past few years brought so many together!  And in such a beautiful place at Squam Lake. This creative spirit, made us laugh, sing, chant, paint, photograph, write, journal, share, support, care, believe and cry together...Connect.
This community of love between friends, strangers, on-line sisters, mentors and teachers was deep & real; light & fun!

This week as I sat uploading my photos and entering my new friends websites, blogs, twitter and flickr names, my small creative community began to expand around the world. I find we share similar losses, blessings, gifts, and dreams. One twitter led to another, a new blog became a new friend, an unraveler shows me a new course to explore.  And so it grows.

Tuesday was my youngest son's 16th birthday.  My husband arrives home at 6 in a horrible mood.  I remind him it's John's day and to put on a happy face. 
He says, "But my day started at 8 am in the Texas Dept of Transportation line for an hour." 
I reply, "I was there for two hours and now I am happy." (big smile and happy birthday dance)
He smiles and comes back with, "but we live in different worlds, honey."
I laugh and realize he is right!
I am forever in a Squam World!

August 31: Celebrate!

This is me and my hubby! Today is the last day of August.

It's Happy Birthday to Tony (brother), Bob (brother-inlaw)

and Jennifer (sister-inlaw)!

And Happy 19th Anniversary to Joy (sister) and Steve!

Good bye August! Good bye Summer!

August 30: Baby Rose

The heat has made most of our flowers fade, brown, wither and die.

But the roses continue to florish with new buds

August 29: Grass

Lazy Summer Day - just watching the grass grow

August 28: Happy Bday Hershey!

August 27: Spider

This morning as John was leaving for school, I saw this spider working very hard to carry something up his silky web.  It looked pretty cool just dangling in the blue sky.

August 25: Homemade Pizza

I love making homemade pizza!!!

August 26: The Hersh

Hershey doesn't like to have his picture taken, when I get one it is usually a profile. ha

He is sitting outside after our walk, enjoying the cooler morning. So happy