Friday, November 26, 2010


fall has arrived and with its cooler temperatures were winds of change
Change that I have been gradually been preparing for.  Change that is a stronger, more spiritual, more determined me.  And closer and more open with my amazing children.

My husband's struggles with addiction have surfaced yet again.  I promised this to be the "last stand".  With his most recent lies and manipulation, I feel so betrayed and angry.  But I can NOT act upon this because it has NEVER gotten me what I truely want. Moving gently within LOVE, compassionately for all those involved for all of us are hurting and needing to be understood as well as loved. 

I have received so much support and love from friends, many I have not personally met - only in e-courses! who have provided me the greatest strength, that I can not begin to describe.

I look back over the last year and marvel at how the steps lined up perfectly like a puzzle.
My brother's request to photograph his wedding led me to search for photography e-course and found Susannah Conway's Unravelling, then following her classes and participation in Mindy Tsonas' Wish Studio and Squam Art Workshop, Jess and Michelle's The Declaration of You and Vivienne's You are Your Own Muse.

How each course provided exactly what I needed to make it through this week.

How after attending Squam, I learned to BEGIN with Christine Mason Miller and really knew and believed I could make my creative dreams a reality.  It was within my reach and I could see the steps I needed to follow.

How I Celebrated the acceptance into my first art show with all of you, knowing it is just the first.

How wearing Jen Lee's JUST BE TRUE tshirt empowers me!

How I typed in my declaration of TRUST on Thursday and found myself chanting it over and over to myself on Tuesday night..
"I declare that I can trust that whatever life throws me (fair or unfair), I am truely blessed and already have exactly what I need to survive and thrive."

How learning how to take photos of myself made me stronger, and feel more beautiful; and taking photos of me in THIS MOMENT gave me strength to acknowledge and then let go of the pain.

So this day after Thanksgiving, I am so very thankful for all you! For I am not alone.
My friends who have lifted me up, provided me a foundation to stand, a sisterhood to lean on and a love to share!  
I love you all from the deepest part of who I am. xoxoxo


  1. Dearest Tammy, you are such a wonderful soul, sending you love. Ill email you over the weekend. xxx

  2. one of the high-lights of my year was meeting you at Squam, honey - you are such a lovebunny xoxo

  3. sending you big big love tammy!

  4. Mwah, big kisses for you.

  5. Keep going on, my sweet.
    All will become better.
    Love from Greece.

  6. Keeping you in my thoughts and heart. If ever you want to talk I have experienced some of what you are going through, though it was my Dad and not my husband..
    Karen D (ecourse/squammie)

  7. Such a beautiful, powerful, empowering declaration of who you are in this moment ... i know i am grateful to stand in your light.

    and isn't it amazing to look back and see what we have done? my tendency is to think about all that is still undone but how essential to take time to celebrate! And i would love to know more about You are Your Own Muse course.

    {{hugs}} xo lis

  8. we are never alone, love. i'm really touched by this post. and my your strength.

  9. Lot's of love from me to you. If you need to talk, please contact me. I've been where you are now. xo

  10. You are loved and strong and amazing. Sending you lots of love and care. xoxo

  11. tammy, so sorry that you are going through a tough time. my thoughts and good wishes are with you.xo

  12. This is a beautiful post, and you are truly an inspiration.